Relationship Dos and Don’ts From a Dog

Do

  • Share your treats
  • Wag your tail when you see your significant other
  • Compliment their fur
  • Sniff their butt
  • Stay well groomed
  • Cuddle up with them
  • Lick their face
  • Hold their paw when you go on walks
  • Be their best friend (after their owner, of course)

Don’t

  • Sniff other dogs’ butts
  • Eat their vomit (your significant other may want it for later)
  • Bark in their ear
  • Ignore the litter
  • Pout when they want to watch Love Actually
  • Be too competitive when you play (not every dog can be Air Bud)
  • Bury their toys
  • Run off at the park
  • Play dead when they want to talk
  • Buy them chocolates for Valentine’s Day

– AA ’17. Illustrated by JJW ’16.