My Juice Cleanse, Day 40

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A few months ago, a friend of mine filled me in on the wonders of juicing. A natural way to pump up your diet with all the essential vitamins and minerals your body craves? Sign me up! 40 days ago, I started a quest to purify my body and soul via liquefied kale, and I’d love to share my thoughts on how it’s going with you guys! Let’s start with what I think are the main pros and cons so far.

PRO My high intake of vitamins and minerals has left me with a good nutritional balance and a healthy glow!

CON I have constant cravings to eat dirt or sand and I have been emitting short wavelength UV radiation in the dark.

PRO I can definitely tell that I’m purifying my body of toxins.

CON I don’t know how else to put this…I am incapable of not pooping now.

PRO My mind has been super clear lately. My meditation has been coming along great too, and I’ve been really relaxed around the house.

CON I have become narcoleptic and can’t remember where I’ve been for hours at a time. I also frequently forget the faces of people I once loved. The malformed head of Steve Buscemi appears as a specter before me every time I close my eyes.

PRO I’ve really felt a lot more energetic since starting the cleanse! Every day I’ve been able to wake up bright and early and go for a run.

CON Every day I wake up at exactly 4:30 am to what sounds like the dying screams of 1,000 tortured souls. They beg me to flee, flee the house if I can, to avoid the same dismal fate as they. I can’t stop running, I won’t stop. I can never look back.

So that’s it for now guys! Check back in next week when I update you on my progress. Stay juicy y’all!

– MWG ’16

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