Student Compares Freshman Math Exam to Act of Profound Human Slaughter

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“It was like genocide, man,” student Barry Saunders exclaimed loudly to a friend outside of his Calculus I final on Tuesday. “A total Darfur.”

Saunders, a prospective Woodrow Wilson School concentrator who has been taking the introductory mathematics class P/D/F since the first week, vehemently expressed his disapproval for the challenging material presented on this week’s assessment, alleging that sitting through the two hour examination inspired the emotions associated with being a victim of mass murder.

“I think people who were torn from their homes and summarily executed or forced to murder their own families with bamboo stalks would totally empathize with my feelings right now,” Saunders explained to reporters. “Rwanda? More like integration!”

At press time, the student was updating his Facebook status that he was “literally starving.”

– CJS ’16. Illustrated by AZ ’16.

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