Ivy Cocktail Night Secret Shopping List


A drink is only as good as its ingredients. Accept no substitutes, except in Autumn, when pumpkin spice can in some cases be substituted for a seasonal twist.

  • Liquified $100 bills
  • The oyster
  • Tears of the homeless
  • Incidental tears of the help
  • Sweat of the proletariat
  • Dust of the Magna Carta
  • Powdered blood diamonds
  • A human man
  • A diamond-studded diamond
  • Pure history
  • The graduate board’s semen
  • Freshly plucked opium
  • A map of the British Empire at its peak
  • Woodrow Wilson’s leg hairs
  • Ectoplasm
  • Burberry juice
  • Baby shoes, never worn
  • Theta tears
  • “The blood”
  • Your ancestors’ remains
  • Powdered rhino horn
  • A soaking wet Tower pass
  • Glue made from the substance on the floor of Cloister
  • The golden fleece
  • Lance Armstrong’s other testicle
  • Theta thoughts
  • The invisible hand
  • The blood of Christ
  • Boot straps
  • Shorted stocks
  • Permafrost
  • Anti-hydrogen

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