Free & For Sale

FOR SALE

  • 460 ft of Dinky track
  • A night with John Nash
  • President Eisgruber’s throne
  • 1,000 Cap passes torn down the middle
  • Prototype Quad passes (never used)
  • One meningitis (please take!!)
  • Nancy Malkiel sock puppet
  • A vial of Peter Singer’s tears
  • A mirror that can actually reflect an Ivy member’s face
  • 9,000 unusable condoms
  • Woodrow Wilson’s fifteenth point
  • Grade deflator
  • Spores, type unspecified
  • 3.5 Theta fingers
  • The mystic seaport bonds of our fraternity
  • A pair of (working) kidneys
  • St. A’s sweatshirt
  • Bike (with lock attached)
  • 18 bike seats
  • 431 black North Face jackets
  • Body of former Dept. of Psychology test monkey
  • Pallet of Charmin Ultra toilet paper
  • Tiger Admirers password
  • A yam shaped like Anthony Grafton’s head

WANTED

  • Institutional history
  • Children
  • An IvyGate apology
  • Cottage spot
  • Womeningitis
  • Eisgruber voodoo doll
  • Happiness, if only for a day
  • Aaron Carter’s sweaty tank
  • 36,000 lightly used bees
  • A survivor of Beekeeping Club initiations
  • A TigerTransit rider
  • A pillow from Eisgruber’s cuddle colosseum (will pay generously)
  • Tower, in exchange for Tower passes

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