How to Secretly Fall Asleep in Class

Chemistry

What you’ll need:

  • Course textbook

Procedure:

  1. Choose a seat near the back of the classroom
  2. Put the textbook on your lap
  3. Rest your head on your hands and pretend to be reading the textbook
  4. Close your eyes and sleep

Chance of being caught: 5%

What to do when caught: Pretend you were reading the textbook all along

 

Music

What you’ll need:

  • Music from your professor’s favourite composer on your iPod
  • Headphones

Procedure:

  1. Choose a seat near the center of the classroom
  2. Turn on your iPod and put on your headphones
  3. Fold your arms and tilt your head slightly back
  4. Close your eyes and sleep

Chances of being caught: 20%

What to do when caught: Explain that Palestrina (or some other composer your professor likes) has such powerfully moving music that it put you to sleep. The professor will not only commend you for your good taste, but immediately forget about your falling asleep in class

 

Computer Science

What you’ll need:

  • Laptop
  • Glasses
  • Sharpie

Note – Considering you are in a computer science class, it is assumed that you already automatically have two of the three, so all you need is to borrow a sharpie from a friend.

Procedure:

  1. Choose a seat near a dim area of the classroom
  2. Draw dots on your glasses using the sharpie that looks like eyes from afar
  3. Put your hands on the keyboard
  4. Tilt your head back but make sure you are still facing the laptop screen
  5. Close your eyes and sleep

Chance of being caught: 25%

What to do when caught: Run towards nearest exit and pray to god that Add/Drop period hasn’t ended.

 

Psychology

What you’ll need:

  • Guts

Procedure:

  1. Show up to class explaining that your psychology experiment is finding the effects of sleeping in psychology class/precepts/labs on the professor’s temper
  2. Sleep anywhere you like

Chances of being caught: 100%

What to do when caught: Keep sleeping.

 

English

What you’ll need:

  • Sparknotes
  • Wikipedia

Procedure:

  1. Leave the classroom and go back to your dorm
  2. Sleep anywhere you like
  3. On the day before paper is due, use Sparknotes and Wikipedia to write your essay

Chances of being caught: 0%

What to do when caught: Doesn’t matter, you won’t be.

YC ’15

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