5 Tips On Selling Princeton to Admitted Students

There are only a few days left until the pre-frosh are required to commit to one school or another. Here’s how to make sure that school is Princeton:

DO NOT ask your pre-frosh if he would care for a round of squash.

DO NOT point out the spot where Woodrow Wilson discovered his homosexuality. (Prospect Garden).

DO NOT point out the spot where Mrs. Wilson discovered Woodrow Wilson’s homosexuality. (Firestone Library, C-floor)

DO NOT tell your pre-frosh that the eating clubs are where you go to meet loose women because if you do, there will be fewer loose women for you!

DO NOT mention that the name of your yacht is the S.S. Lol-ocaust



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