Rebecca Black Releases First Movement of Epic, 7-Part “The Days” Suite

The three Bs of the Western musical canon- Bach, Beethoven, and Bieber- have been joined by a fourth: Rebecca Black. The opening movement of the child prodigy’s latest opus, “Friday,” has already been appreciated by over 40 million YouTube listeners – more than 100 times the population of Vienna over Mozart’s entire lifetime.

“Friday,” the first of seven planned pieces, follows in the epic tradition of Gustav Holst’s similarly septenary “Planets” suite. The individual days of Black’s masterpiece are meant to parallel the Biblical saga of creation.

Musicologists have already hailed “Friday” as “one of the most devastating pieces of music ever written.” Black’s avant-garde style pushes its genre to its limits and has proven (like all great art) controversial, gathering half a million YouTube “dislikes.” One critic, RaMbOmAn6969, described the piece as “an abomination,” likely due to Black’s decision to begin with Friday- the Hebrew sabbath and God’s day of rest.

“Like the Creator, I began my artistic labor with the final result in mind,” Black explains. “On the seventh day God created man, and by extension, partyin’. Partyin’ is fun, and the idea of fun really captures the zeitgeist my generation.” Asked how she plans to proceed with the next six movements, Black answered confidently. “Next comes Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.”

“Friday”’s vision of a finished week (and by extension, a completed universe) has proven unforgettable, its chorus echoing in listeners’ minds long after the music has faded. As an anonymous YouTube commenter passionately remarked, “I CAN’T GET THIS [masterpiece] OUT OF MY HEAD!!”

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