USG Eating Clubs Task Force Recommends Replacing “Bo Po” with “Bro Po”

In a recent study of issues surrounding the university’s eating clubs, a Task Force headed by members of the student body has recommended that the Princeton Borough Police, or “Bo Po”, should be replaced with a so-called “Bro Po” as the first responders to medical emergencies and other problems involving the clubs. Members of the Task Force note that this radical shift in policy would eliminate many of the difficulties which now plague eating club life by alleviating deep-rooted tensions between the Street and the Borough community, by allowing Borough Police to focus on domestic crime rather than Street-related issues.

The Bro Po, which has not yet been formally organized but whose presence has been known on campus for several years now, would provide the university with a team of medical responders who specialize in alcohol and other party-related situations. According to Task Force member Chris Marley, Bro Po officers would likely be recruited largely from fraternities and TI, noting that if necessary, additional officers could be brought in from state schools. “The Bro Po is already quite active,” he remarked. “It’s simply a matter of giving them official jurisdiction.”

According to the Task Force, replacing the Bo Po with the Bro Po would bring about some important changes in how medical emergencies are handled with regard to the university. Students would not be charged criminally for reporting an incident to the Bro Po, making medical assistance more readily available. In addition, the Bro Po would implement disincentive programs for irresponsible drinking by labeling those who engage in such activities as “lightweights” and drawing penises on them with Sharpies while they are unconscious.

So far, the Task Force reports that they have generally received overwhelming support from the student body for such a reform. “We’re not living in the Brohibition anymore,” noted one student. “It’s time for the university to recognize that there are ways of keeping students safe that don’t involve full-scale crack-downs on partying.” Other students have praised the Bro Po for their eagerness to respond, as well as their generally laid-back attitude. Certain members of the community have expressed concern over giving the Bro Po full jurisdiction, however. One student noted that the Bro Po might be inefficient because of a perceived unwillingness to handle certain types of situations. “I doubt they’d even show up unless there were at least three kegs at the party,” the student bitterly remarked. Members of the Bro Po have sagely pointed out, however, that no one gets wasted enough to need real help unless it’s at least a triple-kegger and someone remembered to bring the beer-bong.

Ultimately, the Task Force would like to see the Bro Po handle party-related issues campus-wide, but this will take more time to arrange because of the university administration’s traditional support for Public Safety. However, allowing this organization to replace the Bo Po with regard to eating clubs would be a good start it says, and may help convince the administration to eventually take similar steps on campus. The Task Force notes that the university also has economic incentives to make this change in the long run: instead of the full salary given to Public Safety officers, Bro Po officers would simply receive a monthly stipend of Solo cups and Keystone Light, making them far more budget-friendly. But in the end, it’s simply a matter of student safety, says the Task Force: when it comes to alcohol-related issues, leave it to the brofessionals.

–Matt Goff ’12

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