In today’s world of liberal propaganda and left-wing music, the modern supporter of traditional families and conventional values finds himself strangely awash in repulsive media. Fortunately, a burst of light shines through this haze: the rapper T.I.
While modern music has come to be associated with such radical liberals as the notoriously slothful destroyer of suburban values Jack Johnson and the counter-cultural advocate of hallucinogenic drugs Taylor Swift, a black knight rides bravely against the inexorable winds of popular culture. Encouraging chastity until commitment, active marriage, single-income households, devout and personal religion, gun rights, and national pride, T.I. gives today’s youth a positive message.
In such landmark songs as “Whatever You Like,” “Live Your Life,” and the classic “Rubber Band Man,” the Jacksonville native champions the values which all good, firm Americans ought to cherish.
T.I.’s “Whatever You Like” provides a picture of a man willing to give his young mate all that he can after he has prudently waited for success. Young girls are encouraged to “tell all them…broke n*****s be quiet” (the artist has long eschewed political correctness and opposed miscegenation). No one should engage in a relationship unless capable of providing for their spouse, says the glistening chevalier, flying in the face of decadent perceptions of impoverished love that tax our nation and break down traditional families. However, there is no marriage inequality in this ideal relationship. The woman “ain’t got to downgrade, she can get what [her provider] gets.” Additionally, girls are encouraged to preserve their virginity. Sexual activity must be “so wet and so tight;” in other words, sexual intercourse should be both consensual and avoided until mating. Perhaps tilting into the reactionary, T.I. also proposes that sexuality should be relegated to the private realm, defying the sexual revolution; it should occur only “late night.”
Within a year, the visionary bard also produced a call to faith, humility, and Protestant industry. “Live Your Life” maligns the proud degeneration of popular music, brazenly describing “rapping nowadays” as a “comedy” on account of its materialism and arrogance. The liberal establishment has “lost sight of what’s important with their li[ves]” “with the hooting and the hollering…what kind of car you in.” Rather than rashly turning to violence, though, the listener is encouraged to “pray for patience.” God alone provides the answer in times of trouble. Even relationship troubles are a product of a lack of moral integrity and obedience to the will of God; a man is only “unhappy with [his] bitches because [he’s] piss-poor morally.” At the same time, the means of pleasing God are industry and capitalism. It is through the pursuit of a better life, by “getting your paper and… climbing,” that a man comes to happiness. Until “the game ends,” life is only worth living if it is productive.
Although his more recent work is distinctly religious and moral, such an artist as T.I. cannot be restricted to one province of the conservative kingdom: patriotism, honor, selective breeding, and gun rights dominate his earliest sensation, “Rubber Band Man.” “All the way from Florida to Cackalacky to New York,” our common bond links us as residents of this great nation. We need to accept all of our fellow thugs as Americans. As such, T.I. recognizes the need to defend liberty. To this end, he carries multiple firearms, both a nine millimeter and a .45. Of course, these are to be used only honorably. One should never “talk behind a n*****’s back;” instead, one should “say it to his face.” Part of this chivalry stems from a focus on good breeding, expressed in the lyric “I a thoroughbred n*****.”
It is to this finely tuned, wise man that we must turn our eyes in the future if we hope to find a model for moral music. Clifford Joseph Harris, as T.I. is otherwise known, is a man whom every father ought to trust, every politician consult, and every priest kneel to. Our prayers for a champion have been answered.
– Lucius Lund VIII