Archive for March, 2010

For Rap, A Moral Leader Emerges

In today’s world of liberal propaganda and left-wing music, the modern supporter of traditional families and conventional values finds himself strangely awash in repulsive media. Fortunately, a burst of light shines through this haze: the rapper T.I. While modern music has come to be associated with...
March 26th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

Toyota Recalls CERN Due To Particle Accelerator Malfunction

The Toyota Motor Company today announced it is expanding its recall of products with faulty accelerators to include the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN).  Many operators of CERN’s multi-billion-dollar particle accelerator, the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), complained that the futuristic...
March 24th, 2010 | Business | Read More

How Lady Gaga Convinced Beyonce To Do The ‘Telephone’ Music Video

Lady Gaga: Hey, Beyonce. Beyonce: Are you Lady Gaga or a talking pile of bubble wrap?  It is difficult to tell these days. Lady Gaga: Gaga.  So I have this idea.  For a video.  It’s pretty weird. Beyonce: Like, normal weird or you weird? Lady Gaga: Me weird. Beyonce: The rational part of my...
March 23rd, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

A Letter from the Robot Unicorn

The Robot Unicorn's attorney is pressing charges on over 21 million counts of first degree unicorn-slaughter. Dear friends, I would like to thank you all so much for helping me make my wildest fantasies come true.  Your perseverance and dedication have been nothing short of exemplary.  Every fairy...
March 10th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

North Korea changes its currency to WoW gold

In a startling turn of events, North Korea has announced that it will be discontinuing use of its recently devalued won currency in favor of the denomination exchanged in Blizzard’s popular online game World of Warcraft, “WoW gold.” The recent currency revolution has been revealed as...
March 7th, 2010 | Pamphlets | Read More