The Tribe Files for Tax-Exempt Status

PRINCETON, NJ — An exclusive group of freshman girls who call themselves “The Tribe” filed a lawsuit this week against the federal government, demanding that the group be exempted from all sales taxes — in particular those levied during frequent spiritual journeys to J. Crew.

The leader of The Tribe, known as the Chieftess, explained that tax exemption will allow The Tribe’s rich cultural traditions to be preserved.

These traditions include an elaborate drinking ritual held before Princeton football games.

During this ritual, Tribe members wear a ceremonial garb of a single shared color. The Chieftess distinguishes herself with a garment of a different hue.

The Tribe has long suffered at the hands of authorities, the Chieftess said. In mid-September, The Tribe endured great humiliation when its pre-game drinking ceremony — known among Tribe members as a “tailgate” — underwent a forced relocation from Lot 25 to Lot 21.

No further word yet on the Tribe’s plans to build a casino on their ancestral lands, Poe Field.

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