Archive for February, 2010

TV of the Future

Dull Housewife This Hallmark program will track the  life and times of the rapidly aging Mrs. Fieldman, as she watches made-for-tv movies for 18 hours a day without variation. As her children become more distant and her husband’s list of infidelities grows, she will simply increase the volume and...
February 10th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

PrincetonFML: Class of 1879

"Spaghetti! MLIG" “Today, I finally finished my senior thesis. I was walking across campus to turn it in to my advisor when a stiff wind kicked up. Now I don’t have a senior thesis anymore. FML” “Believed my roommate to be asleep and began my nightly bout of self-abuse....
February 9th, 2010 | Princeton | Read More

New Reality Show Asks: Whatever Happened to Brandy?

ABC announced today that it will be airing a new reality television show in March, entitled “Whatever Happened to Brandy?”. The show consists of a group of 20-somethings who share an apartment/hot tub in Manhattan. Each week the group attempts to answer the question: what happened to the...
February 8th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

Scientists Isolate Antipope; Mysteries of Pope Asymmetry Remain

The Large Popeon Collider (LPC) may soon find evidence of a "God particle" that could explain the pope-antipope asymmetry. CERN, FRANCE – An international team of researchers today announced the first-ever isolation of a sample of antipope, a rare substance predicted by current Pope Theory. ...
February 5th, 2010 | Sci/Tech | Read More

Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins

Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins “We’re really sorry, man.  It was a really strong year, and I spoke hard for you, but it just wasn’t to be.”  Alfred Blair ’12 (name changed to protect his remaining scraps of self-esteem) had just been hosed from Colonial’s...
February 4th, 2010 | Princeton | Read More