Month: February 2010
The FCC Goes Balls To The Wall
The FCC released a statement today stating it will crack down on the abuse of testicular trauma in…
The Tribe Files for Tax-Exempt Status
PRINCETON, NJ — An exclusive group of freshman girls who call themselves "The Tribe" filed a lawsuit this…
Top Ten Old Money Names
Henry Winston Morganthal V Burberry Louise Castermann Chino Polo Spumoni Jameson Winnifred “Spencer” Watson Xylophone Jones Coolant Jr.…
How to Write a Paper About Nothing
Writing classes tell students a lot of things. A great many of these things are true, if you’re…
Rejected Fire Alarm Procedure
1. Attempt to sleep through screeching alarm. 2. Awaken all roommates and one-night stands. 3. Hastily grab mismatched…
An Interview with St. Valentine
St. Valentine is completely blind sided in this groundbreaking interview with Tiger Mag.
Discrimination By (Lack of) Sex
Young abstainers are fleeing the ranks in increasing number, citing peers taunting them for their unusual behavior.
Computer Engineer Barbie Creates Unrealistic Expectations for Women, Engineers
"I really like programming, but I'll never be pretty enough to be a computer engineer."Â Heather Rogers, like…
Breakup Leaves Man’s Heart, Refrigerator Cold And Empty
The devastating breakup with his live-in girlfriend of three years has left local man Andrew White emotionally drained…
Princeton Volunteers Dispense Hot Breakfasts to Deprived Harvard Students
The Harvard administration eliminated hot breakfasts for Harvard students due to budget cuts, and the situation was desperate.…
TV of the Future
Dull Housewife This Hallmark program will track the life and times of the rapidly aging Mrs. Fieldman, as…
PrincetonFML: Class of 1879
“Last Saturday, I was more charming than I've ever been and hit on this really cute freshman like…