Spires & Gargoyles: Chairman’s Letter, November 2009

Congratulations on your fine
choice in reading material!
Perhaps this is your first Tiger;
as firsts go, this ranks among the
best. It probably won’t destroy as
much property as your first car.
First pets pee on the carpet, eat
your homework, and die. This inanimate
stack of paper won’t cause
any trouble like that. I’ll bet your
first kiss was special. Tiger’s special
too, but unlike that silly kiss,
you can share a magazine with
your roommate, your cousin, and
your professor– all without psychological
scarring.
As Princeton’s humor magazine
we strive to be more sophisticated
than MAD, yet not so inscrutable
as The New Yorker; we have some
low-brow humor, some high-brow
humor, but we fervently strive to
provide something all can enjoy:
unibrow humor.
Tiger’s been serving up its particular
brand of wit for 127 years.
We’ve had our ups and downs, but
the fact that you are reading these
words– not on scraps of cardboard
bound with chewing gum, but on
glossy, 100% unrecycled paper– is
a good sign.
The proud and ancient lineage of
Tiger chairmen spans three centuries
of misadventure and riotous
overthrows. M. Struthers Burt,
class of 1904, was the first student
to be honored by Woodrow Wilson
with a suspension. Though he
never rose to [my exalted position
of ] Chairman, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s
commitment to Tiger played no
small part in preventing his graduation.
He did manage to coin the
phrase “Spires & Gargoyles”– immortal
words that evoke the quintessence
of Princetoniana in all its
gothic splendor. This was considered
a vast improvement over
the then-iconic phrase of “Spikey
Roofs & Ugly Rock Monsters.”
Though I’ve yet to get my personal
summons from President
Tilghman (she probably mispelled
my email) I’ve been busy converting
legions of disposable henchmen
(Ed.’s note: he’s talking about
us writers…) into a crack comedy
force. My nameless minions on
the business staff (President’s
note: Steve, I’m gonna kick your
ass!) continue to plunder the coffers
of corporate America for Tiger’s
gain– or at least they would,
if they’d only remember to request
payment in U.S. dollars, not beer.
We’ve put a lot of effort into
this issue. Humor has the power
to teach, delight, and move us to
new understanding in ways serious
prose cannot. It also makes
for excellent bathroom reading.
Enjoy,
Steven Liss
127th Chairman
The Princeton Tiger
Steven B. Liss, Chairman
Steven B. Liss, Chairman

This letter appeared in the November 2009 issue of the Tiger.

Congratulations on your fine choice in reading material!

Perhaps this is your first Tigeras firsts go, this ranks among the best. It probably won’t destroy as much property as your first car. First pets pee on the carpet, eat your homework, and die. This inanimate stack of paper won’t cause any trouble like that. I’ll bet your first kiss was special. Tiger’s special too, but unlike that silly kiss, you can share a magazine with your roommate, your cousin, and your professor– all without psychological scarring.

As Princeton’s humor magazine we strive to be more sophisticated than MAD, yet not so inscrutable as The New Yorker; we have some low-brow humor, some high-brow humor, but we fervently strive to provide something all can enjoy: unibrow humor.

Tiger’s been serving up its particular brand of wit for 127 years. We’ve had our ups and downs, but the fact that you are reading these words– not on scraps of cardboard bound with chewing gum, but on glossy, 100% unrecycled paper– is a good sign.

The proud and ancient lineage of Tiger chairmen spans three centuries of misadventure and riotous overthrows. M. Struthers Burt, class of 1904, was the first student to be honored by Woodrow Wilson with a suspension. Though he never rose to [my exalted position of ] Chairman, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s commitment to Tiger played no small part in preventing his graduation. He did manage to coin the phrase “Spires & Gargoyles”– immortal words that evoke the quintessence of Princetoniana in all its gothic splendor. This was considered a vast improvement over the then-iconic phrase of “SpikeyRoofs & Ugly Rock Monsters.”

Though I’ve yet to get my personal summons from President Tilghman (she probably mispelled my email) I’ve been busy converting legions of disposable henchmen (Ed.’s note: he’s talking about us writers…) into a crack comedy force. My nameless minions on the business staff (President’s note: Steve, I’m gonna kick your ass!) continue to plunder the coffers of corporate America for Tiger’s gain– or at least they would, if they’d only remember to request payment in U.S. dollars, not beer.

We’ve put a lot of effort into this issue. Humor has the power to teach, delight, and move us to new understanding in ways serious prose cannot. It also makes for excellent bathroom reading.

Enjoy,

Steven Liss

127th Chairman

The Princeton Tiger

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