Public Safety Weekly Crime Blog

Date: Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Incident: Burglary and Theft

The Department of Public Safety is alerting community members of a burglary and theft that occurred at Forbes Addition, between approximately 12:28 p.m. and 01:52 p.m. on 11/20. Between these times, an unknown person(s) entered an unlocked open dormitory room and took approximately 8 ounces of blow. The My Little Pony lunchbox used to contain the blow was also taken. No suspects were observed.

Date: Monday, November 19, 2007

Incident: Forgery

The Department of Public Safety is alerting community members of the distribution of counterfeit Tigertickets throughout the University. There have been multiple reports of these forged tickets being solicited throughout the junior slums. Students can determine the validity of their tickets by checking whether the ticket is poorly printed and on cheap paper; these security features constitute valid tickets. Due to the fact that the use of counterfeit tickets seriously undermines the integrity of the Tigerticket system and the economic viability of third-rate student productions, people intentionally using these tickets for personal gain will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Rights, Rules, and Responsibilities guidelines.

Date: Sunday, November 18, 2007

Incident: Crime Wave

The Department of Public Safety is alerting community members of a surging crime wave sweeping over Second Princeton this week. After dark, an unspecified number of Second people have been entering various dormitories around Second Life Princeton and proceeding to shift items into their own inventories. A slew of objects have been reported as missing, including a large shipment of Second Tools that were being stored in Second Robertson. Vandalism is also rampant: Second Nassau Hall has been Second defecated in repeatedly. CSI: Second is currently looking into the death of an unidentified Second male who was found near Second Ivy overdosed. They have not ruled out foul play. No suspects have been observed, but the Second Life management team has strong reason to believe that these incidents are related. Princeton Students are advised to have their Second Life characters follow the crime prevention at the end of this week’s blog.

Date: Saturday, November 17, 2007

Incident: Burglary and Theft

The Department of Public Safety is alerting community members of a burglary and theft that occurred at Whitman College early this morning. Several personal items were reported missing from a dorm room on the ground floor of Fisher Hall. Among these were several used tampons, a prosthetic leg, a glass eye and a ball of wax. An unknown person was observed fleeing from the scene on a golf cart around the time of the robbery. The Department of Public Safety is currently investigating all Swedes.

Date: Friday, November 16, 2007

Incident: Sexual Assault

The Department of Public Safety is alerting community members of recent gang activity that has resulted in an increased incidence of sexual assault throughout campus. Complaints range from males who feel they have been inappropriately touched to those who have been mercilessly raped, repeatedly and in many positions, by what victims have identified as a group of four females. The majority of incidents have occurred in the corridors of Fine Hall, and several garments have been recovered. The department is currently investigating all females with bra sizes 34D and 36DD. The department also advises all math majors against working alone in Fine Hall until the culprits are caught.

If you have information relevant to these incidents, please contact the Department of Public Safety at

(609) 258-1000, or an investigator at (609) 258-3705. We remind all community members of our general crime prevention tips listed on our website www.princeton.edu/publicsafety/CrimeTips.htm, including:

– Report suspicious persons or activity immediately by flashing the Batman symbol into the night sky.

– Always lock your door during sexual intercourse.

– Avoid leaving blow unused.

– Leave your valuable possessions in the open so you always know where they are.

– Let go of your worldly possessions. They are merely obstacles to enlightenment.

– Don’t leave your room key and class schedule with total strangers.

– Avoid leaving doors propped open when not hosting a party.

– Always leave your windows unlocked for quick escapes when your dealer comes by to collect late payments.

– Use a cable lock to secure the porn your laptop computer.

– Engrave possessions — computers, stereos, hos, etc. – for identification.

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